Jackson David

Born 10/14/2011 at 8:13A.M. Weighed 8lbs 1oz, 21 3/4 inches long.

Let the crazy begin...

Asher starts another semester of school today...its not going to be fun for either of us. He has classes 4 evenings a week, which means he leaves every morning at 4:30 and won't be home until after 7 in the evening. He is beginning this just 8 weeks before our precious baby is due to arrive, our first, which will make it that much crazier. I'm trying my hardest to not let my anxiety over this crazy schedule show because I want to be as supportive and encouraging to Asher as possible, I know its not going to be easy on him. As a way to spend a little extra time together, I am getting up with him at 3:50 to keep him company while he gets ready and have a little breakfast with him. This semester will definitely test us, but I know it will be worth it. Asher will be that much closer to his degree (even though there is still many more semesters to go), and he is doing it while solely providing for our family which is something to be proud of. Thank goodness for family and friends close by, we will definitely need their help through this crazy semester and period of adjustment to parenting.

I just have to say I have loved knowing that we're having a boy. I never thought any different, but having the confirmation rom the ultrasound has made a huge difference. I am really enjoying calling our boy by name. I can't wait to see what kind of personality he is going to have.

Its a Blue World for Us

We had our big ultrasound today, and its quite obvious, its a BOY! I can't wait to start shopping and really planning for our little man. : )

Miracles

We have struggled with infertility for the past 4 years. We tried nearly everything before deciding to pursue adoption. We put fertility treatments on hold and focused our efforts on becoming approved for adoption, which we were. During this time, as most everyone knows, I spent a lot of time in the hospital with my nephew and sister-in-law while my nephew underwent chemo and radiation therapies for cancer. I have no doubt in my mind that I was meant to be available to them. As hard as it was to go year after year with no success from our fertility treatments, etc., and then the wait after our approval, I know that had we been blessed with children prior to Ayden's diagnosis I would not have been able to help as much as I was able to, as much as I wanted to. Just before Ayden was admitted to the hospital for seizures, as a result of his cancer spreading to his brain, we had to place our adoption profile on hold. At this time we decided that we wanted to try to conceice again. We assumed we were going to need to use some sort of fertility drug, but before I could schedule the appointment we discovered I was pregnant. I a now nearly 16 weeks and loving every minute of it. I truly feel this is the result of many little miracles and blessings over the course of the last year. I can see now why we were not meant to have children prior to this point and I'm grateful for what the Lord can see that I cannot. I feel so blessed to be able to experience this pregnancy and cannot wait to experience it as it progresses. I look forward to holding this little one in my arms within a few weeks of October 15.

So far 2011 is shaping up to be a pretty good year. We still think about our little buddy Ayden all of the time, I don't expect that to ever change. We love that little superman so much and can't wait to see him again someday.

We have had a few changes around our house. I quit my job in February so I am now a housewife. The decision didn't come lightly and it won't be without some trial, as we are down to one income, but it was a necessary decision. My plan is to (finally) start teaching piano to beginner students to help supplement our income. It will be nice because I will be at home and when we welcome a baby into our home it won't require major adjustments.

Really, aside from quitting my job things have been pretty casual for us. We hang out with friends and family on the weekend. Asher is busy with school and work during the week and I try to find things to keep myself busy. Really there's plenty for me to do, its just getting into the groove of things. I'm sure I'll get there but part of me just wants to be really lazy for a little while.

Anyway, we will have some more changes coming over the next few months but I'll post about them as they come.

2010

What can I say? 2010 was filled with many ups and downs. A part of me whishes it would have never ended, and yet I'm glad to see it go. We spent the first half of the year focused on getting our approval for adoption. I spent a good portion of that time and into the second half of the year at the children's hospital here in town with my sister(-in-law), nephew and niece while my nephew went through chemo and radiation therapy. The majority of that time was filled with ups.

We were approved for adoption, our nephew was responding well to his treatments. In October we experienced some hardships and had to place our adoption profile on hold for a bit. In November we found out our sweet nephew's cancer had spread to his brain. At that time we were told there was no hope for recovery. He spent several weeks in a medically induced coma. When he awoke he could no longer speak or walk and had very little control over his arms but he could smile, and it was beautiful. We were witnesses to several miracles and knew that he would be taken care of. As a family we knew that he would not be with us much longer but didn't know how much time we would have with him. On December 29 he was taken home to his Heavenly Father, where he joined some of his great-grandparents and his aunt Sarah. While we have a void in our lives where he once filled, we know where he is, that he is not alone, and that we will see him again.

So, I wish I could go back to the first half of the year of 2010 so I could enjoy my time with that sweet little boy and I could continue with our approval to adopt, but I look forward to this new year when we will be able to re-activate our profile and continue on our journey to adoption and we will be able to start a new life without our sweet Ayden while honoring his memory.

I hope 2011 will live up to it's potential and that we will get to experience the joy life has to offer.