Thursday, July 24, 2014

I have spent the last couple of days looking back on this blog. It has gone from being a blog to tell prospective birth parents a little about ourselves and our families, to a rarely updated document of our lives. Looking at past blog posts I have been thinking about the things that were going on around the time of each post. It started with us optimistically hoping to start our family through adoption (following years of struggling to conceive both on our own and with the aid of fertility treatments). I was pretty consistent with posts during the first several months, right up until I faced the most difficult trial I have ever (and probably will ever) face in my life. It was something I faced, mostly privately, with only a few family members aware of what was going on. Even today, very few know about that trial.  I learned so much about myself over the course of that following year.  While I wish I'd never had that experience, I have such a strong testimony of the atonement and the importance of forgiveness.  While I was experiencing such deep heartache, my brother in law and sister in law (who is one of my very best friends) experienced what will probably be their greatest trial with the loss of their sweet boy to cancer.  Later we were able to share what we had each learned about the atonement.  I also realized that my not having children had been a blessing, though in the thick of it I didn't realize it.  Had I had children I would not have been able to spend countless hours and sleepless  nights helping at the hospital helping.  It wasn't until two months after my nephew passed away when I found out I was pregnant, naturally, that I realized what a blessing it had been. It is now nearly three years later and I have been blessed with two sweet boys. While this last year has been difficult at times, some far more than others, I have been blessed, immeasurably, with amazing people in my life.  People who have known what I needed, even when I didn't. Now, with our two little boys, we are starting a new life as a military family. Over the next six months we will experience separation, personal growth (through different means, but at the same time), and a move away from everything and everyone that we know.  I am both terrified and excited by this new adventure.  I often wonder whether I have the strength that it takes, but looking back, I remember that even if I don't have it now, The Lord will make sure I do when the time comes.

I make no promises, but it hope to be able to take the time to record our journey and keep everyone informed with what we are up to and where we end up over the next few years.